Appraisal ;-)

One day, a project leader was asked to submit a review of one of his
employees. He wrote the following

Bob Jones, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time. Often, Bob takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
classed as a high-caliber employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
executed as soon as possible.

Regards,

Project Leader

Shortly thereafter, the HR department received the following memo
From the project leader:


Sorry, but that idiot was reading over my shoulder while I wrote the
report sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd numbered
lines for my true assessment of him.

Regards, Project Leader

Letter is from Banta Singh of Punjab to Mr. Bill

Subject: Problems with my new computer
Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
We have bought a computer for our home and we have found
some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
1. There is a button 'start' but there is no "stop" button. We
request you to check this.
2. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friends clicked
'run' he ran up to Amritsar ! So, we request you to change that
to "sit", so that we can click that by sitting.
3. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system?
I
find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.
4. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife
lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this ' find'
button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.
5. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn
'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?
6. I brought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is
only one icon which shows 'MY Computer': when you will
provide the remaining items?
7. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is
noteven a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my
photo in that.
8. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT
HOME' since I use the PC at home only.
9. You provided "My Recent Documents". When you will
provide "My Past Documents"?
10. You provide "My Network Places". For God shake please
do not provide "My Secret Places". I do not want to let my
wife know where I go after my office hours.
Regards,
O
Banta.